replaced by every day

Timeline of last night and this morning, because I want you all to see how GAAHHH my priorities are ALL MESSED UP!

8:30 p.m. - Come back from Technique meeting, start calling/IMming people to get quotes so I can write a last-minute story to make up for ones that have fallen through this week.
10:30 p.m. - Email some writers about stories for next week.
11:00 p.m. - Open my thermo book to start the homework that's due tomorrow, but get distracted by the Daily Show.
11:45 p.m. - and Letterman
12:00 a.m. - and Bill Maher
12:20 a.m. - Finally turn off the TV and try to work on thermo for a while.
1:00 a.m. - Realize that I have no idea how to do problems involving p-v and T-v diagrams. At all. This probably has to do with the fact that I skipped lecture last week so that I could interview Dr. McMath for (yes, that's right) a Technique story.
1:05 a.m. - Switch to emag homework instead (also due tomorrow), and find that I really have no idea how to do that, either.
1:45 a.m. - After having attempted both thermo (1 problem out of 5 done) and emag (0 problems out of 5 done) homework, I give up and go back to emailing writers.
2:30 a.m. - Go to sleep.
6:00 a.m. - Wake up and work on thermo some more, but don't make any progress.
6:45 a.m. - Compare emag and thermo syllabi and realize that in emag, homework counts for 20% of our grade and in thermo, it only counts for 10%!
6:50 a.m. - Switch to emag. Make a little bit of progress.
7:30 a.m. - Realize that I am not going to be able to finish my homework before class starts at 8, and since I currently don't have a calculator (I keep meaning to buy one but haven't yet, and when I'm in my room I just use Matlab), I run over to Alan's to borrow his
8:00 a.m. - Biomedical instrumentation class. I work on emag all throughout the period and don't take any notes.
9:00 a.m. - Thermo. I work on emag all throughout the period and don't take any notes. At the end of the period, I turn in my thermo homework with my ONE PROBLEM completed. I am awesome.
10:00 a.m. - Emag. I work on the homework in between taking notes.
11:00 a.m. - Emag ends. I've done all five problems (though probably only 50% are correct, heh), so I turn the homework in.

Okay. Now that I've shared that with you all, I feel much better. Now I'm going to eat lunch and then head to the Technique office so that I can spent yet another entire Wednesday working on the paper instead of, oh, say, having a life.

Posted by Jennifer at 08:39 AM | Permalink

Every time a holiday weekend comes around, I fool myself into thinking that somehow I'll use the time that would usually be spent doing work or worrying to relax and clear my mind instead. But inevitably I just spend it in a stupor, and when the holiday is over I just feel even more preoccupied and overwhelmed than I was before.

Lately I've been feeling like I don't have a fucking clue about anything in my life: my classes, my job, my family, my friends... and neither does anyone else. Thank you to the people who have asked how I'm doing, and I know half the time I'm just being irrational and stupid -- but for so long I've dealt with my thoughts in one of two ways: the less complicated ones get expressed here, in words, and the rest just get kept to myself. So now, even when I want to talk to people about what I'm feeling, I don't even know how to begin, really.

My priorities are all fucked up, too. I can't even do a simple task without making it into some mountain by procrastinating and distracting myself from it. Like now -- I have my section for the Technique to worry about, and I should have emailed my writers earlier tonight to check up on how their stories are going so that I don't have to pull an all-nighter on deadline night the way I did last week. But instead I've managed to put that off by doing all sorts of trivial things. This email (that I have yet to write) will most likely end up being no more than four sentences long; in all it will probably take me five minutes to write and send. And yet, I just can't get myself to do it. I don't know what's wrong with me.

And I miss having things to write about here, things that people used to enjoy reading about, things that people used to comment on because they were eloquent and thoughtful and original.

I stood underneath the shower tonight for what felt like forever. It's a very strange sensation to have your eyes closed as the spray runs over your face and into your open mouth -- and then suddenly, taste the salt of your tears mixed in with the purity of the water.

Posted by Jennifer at 08:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So my sister's 18th birthday was Friday, and her friends showered her with presents. They're all sitting in a neat pile on our living room couch, and I was snooping around and looking at some of the cards (hi Christine! hope you don't mind!), and found this one:

Happy Birthday

Johannes

which made me laugh. It must have been a good birthday day for Christine.

(I'm the teeniest bit jealous of all her presents, though. Bah for summer birthdays.)

Posted by Jennifer at 06:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)