11:54 p.m. I'm on duty. After working on a paper for most of the day, I'm rewarding myself by watching Good Eats. Alton Brown has just finished frying a battered tilapia for fish n' chips. And... my cellphone rings.
Hello?
Hey Jen, this is Shalin.
Hey Shalin, what's up?
Um, can you come over to Folk?
Sure. What's the problem?
One of my residents' girlfriend is drunk and passed out.
Ohh. Yeah, I'll be over in a few minutes.
So I gathered up the duty pager, the keys, and the binder. Before I left, I stopped to look at what the duty protocol said.
"Intoxication (student unresponsive: cannot stand up without help, eyes closed, mumbles, etc.): Note the 5 W's. Call Police. Page DUTY RLC."
Oh great. I do not want to call the police.
I've never had to handle an alcohol-related incident before. Maybe I've just always had good residents, or something -- but I've never had to write anybody up for drinking. So as I walked over to Folk, I tried to steel myself:
Just be professional about it, Jennifer. Explain that it's your job as duty staff. Ask for names, reassure the student that they would probably just get a talking to from the RLC, and at the worst, they would get referred to the Dean of Students. Be inflexible about it, but calm and cool, and it won't be a big deal either for you or the students involved.
Dammit, I'm missing the last five minutes of my show.
Shalin was waiting anxiously in the hall, and met me as soon as I showed up on his floor. The situation was plain: the guy's door was open; his girlfriend was sprawled on the bed, her hair matted and wet, her shirt riding up to expose her stomach. Her eyes were half-closed; she was definitely pretty passed out. The guy, and a friend of his, were sitting in the room with her. When I looked in, I could smell the faint stench of alcohol and vomit.
One of the first things Shalin said was, "Is there any way you can not write this up?" which caught me off guard. I had thought he had called me because he wanted a reinforcement, someone to back him up to deal with an uncomfortable situation.
I looked at Shalin, looked at the guy. "You want me to not write him up? So why did you call me in the first place?"
"Because I'm worried about her," he said, motioning to the girl. "I wanted a second opinion."
The guy came out into the hall. "I've called her parents; they know about it, and are okay with it," he said somewhat pleadingly. "I really don't want this to go on my record. Please. I know I fucked up."
I explained that him getting written up wasn't such a bad thing, that he wouldn't get expelled, that it wouldn't go on his record, or anything like that -- though neither Shalin or I really knew what exactly happens to students who get caught drinking.
I asked how long she'd been passed out for. A couple hours, they said. Every once in a while the guy would look over at her, and say, "See, her eyes are open, I think," and he'd go over and shake her to try and wake her up.
I found out that they had been drinking in the dorm. "Oh, that's bad," I said to Shalin, a little rebukingly. "I really should write him up, if that's the case."
"Darn," he said, "Yeah, I guess. I was just hoping that you could just let it go. He's a good kid. I've never had problems with him before."
But after a few more minutes they managed to wake her, and get her to sit up. Shalin breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god," he said. "She should drink some water. Here, I'll go get some."
I followed him back to his room. When he left with the water, I went over to his bed and opened the duty binder again.
"Intoxication (student responsive: can stand up w/out help, talk). Monitor situation. Page DUTY RLC."
Even though the girl still didn't really fit that definition, I thought, Maybe I can get away with just calling the duty RLC. Maybe I could ask her what to do, and get some advice. I was about to look up the phone number when Shalin came back in.
I said, "I think I'm going to have to write him up, man. He was drinking. In the dorm. That's a big deal. I can't just let it go..."
"Are you going to call the duty RLC?"
"Yeah, I was going to."
But I didn't call... instead I went back to the guy's room. I wanted to get names, so I would at least have some sort of information, but when I looked in, the guy and the girl were sitting on the edge of the bed, their backs facing me. She had a towel draped around her shoulders, and was leaning heavily against the guy. He had his arm around her, trying to support her weight. And for some reason, I didn't feel like it was the right moment to be all official.
So instead, I asked, "How is she?"
"She's okay," he said, and went back to talking to her, trying to get her to sit up.
I walked away. Shalin and I discussed the situation some more, in subdued tones outside in the hall. Even though he told me, "Do what you feel like you have to do," the more I talked, the more I felt reluctant to report the incident. Shalin finally suggested that he could just take it to Laura (our RLC) himself, after the fact. And after a while, I agreed. He wouldn't mention that I had been involved, so the responsibility for not reporting the incident would fall on him.
"Laura should be understanding," I said.
"Yeah. So are you okay with it?"
"Yeah. It's okay with me," I said. After a pause, I said, "I'm still going to get names, though."
So I went back to the guy's room, and Shalin followed. I mustered up whatever gravity I could, and asked the guy, "When you get a chance, can you come outside so I can talk to you?"
"Sure," he said. I couldn't tell if he was panicked or not. "Can you hold her?" he said to his friend, and then came and stood outside in the hall with me and Shalin.
"I'm not going to write you up," I said finally. "Shalin's probably going to take you to our RLC, but it won't get written up."
"You do need to realize, though," I continued, trying to sound as stern as possible, "that it's not okay to drink in the dorms." I paused (for effect, maybe?). "Also, I'm still going to get your name, just for... my information."
The kid's name was Chris. His girlfriend, Brittany. His friend, Brett. And that was it. I folded up the piece of paper that I had written their names on, and made to leave.
"Call me if she's not okay," I said to Shalin.
"I will. Thank you for coming over," he replied.
And that's pretty much what happened. Do I lack conviction? Maybe. I was so sure when I left my room at midnight that I would write someone up, that it was my job and I shouldn't make exceptions. When I got back around 12:30, I don't really know how I felt.
Now that I've had time to think about it, I don't think it would have really have made a difference whether or not I had written Chris up. Okay, so I didn't do my job as housing staff. But on the other hand, I don't think what I did was entirely wrong, either. Hell, maybe it's not even important whether it was right or wrong. Either way, the kid knows he made a mistake, and hopefully he won't do it again.
But one thing's for sure: I'm glad I've decided not to do housing again next year. It'll be a nice change only having to be accountable for myself, you know?